so proud...

Trinity women's soccer finished another amazing year this last weekend. It was rough to watch it end short of everyone's hopes and dreams, and my heart broke for the players. I re-lived and remembered my final game the year before, as it is forever sketched in my mind, knowing how they were feeling, wishing I could be there to hug them and cry with them.

To the team, I have to say congrats. You had a killer year and it was incredible to watch you dominate. I am so proud of you girls. I know it didn't last as long as you hoped it would, or as long as it should have, but you have to be proud. You just have to be.

It's been one year and seven days since my soccer career ended (but who's counting?). I wish that I could give these seniors some advice. Maybe some words of wisdom to help them feel better and help them know what to do. Anything. But I'm at a loss. For the past year I've struggled myself to fill that void, I've been searching for something I can do that will replace it, trying to keep myself busy and not think about it constantly. But the truth is, even after 12 months, I still miss it terribly. But I've realized that's okay.

Although I've been searching for something to fill that void, the reality is I won't ever be able to replace it, and I don't want to replace it. It was an incredible journey with amazing experiences and opportunities. Yes I have disappointments, frustrations, and I occasionally replay vital games in my head, trying to figure out how I could have changed the outcome. But the reality is, that doesn't matter. And I'm slowly realizing that.

I don't have any profound words of wisdom or comfort. I wish I did. But I am happy to say that I can look back and be proud. And that pride, for some strange reason, is comforting. I am proud to have been a Trinity women's soccer player. That means more than most people will ever know or understand. Only those who were a part of it will truly get that.