the journey's end...

Recently I've had quite a few dreams about soccer. I think about it a lot. I miss it terribly.

I am passionate about the game. I absolutely love it. I've been playing ever since I can remember. It's been my whole life. I've made countless sacrifices for the game and I gave it my whole heart. In return, it gave me life lessons, growth and inspiration, and lasting relationships. There have been ups and downs, exhilarating joy as well as numbing pain. But I've truly had some of the best times of my life.

When I was just 10 I told my mom I wanted to play college soccer. It kind of freaked her out a little bit since I was only 10, but it didn't scare me at all. But now that's its over, it scares me.

I love the game. I love every aspect of it. I love the feel of my cleats against the fresh cut grass. I love being in control of the ball at my feet. I love the sound of my foot hitting the ball in the perfect spot. I love winning a header over the girl next to me. I love winning. I love the feeling after completing a brilliant pass or a beautiful shot. I love watching the ball hit the back of the net. I love how much it means to score a single goal. I love the passion the whole world has for the game. I love the passion I have for the game. And I love that although it is a game...it holds so much more meaning than just a game.

How will I fill this void? It's all I've known.

Will I find other things to do with my time? Absolutely. But do I want to? I just don't know.

My heart broke when we lost our last game. It's still broken.

But I cannot dwell on the end, but rather the amazing journey. I should not be sad, but rather happy. Happy for everything I have and have become because of soccer. It truly has been an incredible journey. I will miss it. I do miss it. But I am ever so grateful for it.